I can’t breathe… anxiety triggers.
I try taking deep breaths, talking myself through nearly each moment. Anxiety. Does anyone else struggle with it? I’m having one of those days, you know the ones where you’re clinging to God’s promises, breathing them in, but the kid chaos around you is almost too much to bear?
The bickering, dumped drinks, fighting, hurtful words, “I’m hungry” for the 632nd time, and the disaster messes.
DEEP. BREATH.
Be honest, how many of you have to talk yourself through moments like this? Do you coach yourself (or shoot up those arrow prayers) like I do? Or am I just a little bit nutty? My children trigger my anxiety.
REMINDER.
Even in my inadequacies, my Savior is holding me, interceding to Father for me (alleluia!) and the Holy Spirit reminding me that I. AM. HIS. (Check out my favorite verses for anxiety here)
Just then, I’m reminded that what I’m doing matters. Little K (the one who single handedly made this mess… I call her tornado) yells out from the other room, “it’s my song mama!” as the beautiful song, 10,000 Reasons comes on. Mama, what you’re doing matters! MAMA WHAT YOU’RE DOING MATTERS!!! (yelling at myself now) Pouring into these children the truths of the Savior. If they learn NOTHING ELSE today, I pray this, that they grasp (and if they don’t that the Lord would write it on their hearts) even ONE truth from God’s Word and His beautiful ways.
I may never understand why he called me to this work. The work of being a wife, training up children, homeschooling them, and ministry leadership… It certainly isn’t because I can handle it with grace! I can only choose to trust Him. After all, He does know what’s best for us right!? I’m reminded of His GRACE.
A former addict — once rejected and unloved, given a higher calling. A calling to raise His precious ones in the fear and admonition of the Lord. What a heavy responsibility! Sometimes I wonder, if I had known all that this responsibility entails, would I have even desired parenthood (a little transparency here). Funny how my children are my anxiety triggers…
Over the years, the Lord has been gracious to show me so much about MY anxiety. More times than not, it is triggered when I set UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS — for me, for God, for my children, for my husband, situations, you name it! I’m sharing with you how I TRY to deal with this today (if you have any other suggestions, please share!)
- Deep Breath- Pray for wisdom. Worship. Change my environment (going outside, the garage, locking myself in the bathroom…wherever I can to regain some focus)
- Identify- What triggered your freak out? Why is this upsetting me? What is TRUE?
- Check your Heart- Are you offended because your expectations aren’t being met? Is your motivation behind it SELFISH? Are you being motivated by FEAR? Sin, sin, sin! (MY personal struggles here) Now it’s not always rooted in sin, sometimes I just get them.
- Confess- Confess it to the Lord, why? Because He cares for you! I’m challenging myself this year to pour out my heart to Him more. He cares! Remind myself, I have the privilege and opportunity to share my struggles with Him…. I want to do that more! I’m learning to allow Him to bear all. the. burdens. If needed, ask for forgiveness.
- “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!” Matthew 7:7-11 (NASB)
- Rest- Deep breath, it’s been taken care of by your Father. Pray for His wisdom above all. Rest in His promises, in His calling.
- Remind- I find it helps me so much to remind myself of the calling He has given me. He’s called me to be a mom (an obvious one there right), a HOMESCHOOLING mom, a wife, and a leader in ministry. There are just some responisbilities that come along with those callings. He never said it would be easy, but He did say He would equip me, and I don’t know about you, but I want to do it WELL! I can’t do it well without Him.
What about you? Do you suffer from anxiety? How do you gain victory over those crazy days? I’d love to hear what has helped you!
I know this post is a bit unorganized, but I thought I’d write for you all while I was actually in THE MIDST of dealing with this! Plus, I’m new to this blogging thing and my desire is to share my heart and experiences with Jesus and how it relates to real life!
**UPDATE! Shortly after writing this, my middle guy (he’s 7) decided to run his head into the corner of the freezer door… resulting in a split head and some wailing that I’m fairly sure the neighbors heard. He’s ok though! It’s literally like 1/8″ long. I thought I’d share because sometimes us moms need to know that EVERYONE has chaos! And ladies, there is beauty in the chaos!