It was 2007, our life together was nothing short of beautiful. We had our own home, a wonderful marriage, our first precious child, and steady employment.
We purchased our first home in the spring of 2007 (read: height of the real estate boom), nothing too fancy, a 2000 sq. ft. manufactured home on about an acre. But it was ours! At the time I was working full-time as a Realtor/Assistant and my husband as a heavy equipment diesel mechanic. Our first child was born in November of that year and things were wonderful.
In 2008 we prayerfully decided that I would become a SAHM (stay at home mom). New world, new adventures! I poured everything I had into this new found calling. I studied God’s word diligently to see what all He had for me in this walk. I learned to meal plan, budget, cook, clean (I was raised in a very broken home and was never taught these things), you name it! I rocked the SAHM thing!
Fast-forward a year, we were expecting again! We were so excited. Our second son would be joining our family in April of 2010.
Then things started to fall apart. The economy everywhere started to falter. My husbands job became very stressful and unstable, then his hours were cut by more than half. We had made (what I now realize) were some poor financial choices… we had 2 car payments, wedding ring on the credit card, $1000 mortgage, you name it, we liked debt.
We did everything we could to stay afloat. Found Dave Ramsey, instated his Financial Peace principals, sold what we could and cashed out hubby’s retirement (maybe we shouldn’t have done that) to start our debt snowball, cut our grocery budget down to $150/ month, no cable, no internet…. a lot of NOs. We were able to tread water for some time. We paid off the cars and credit cards but not the house.
There were loads of tears, many fights, many groceries left on our door step by friends, a winter surviving on venison alone. I’m amazed our marriage weathered this.
We tried everything to keep OUR home. We rented the house out, rent to sale… then in 2009, our rent-to-own couple backed out. We were so upside down on this place and the real estate market had tanked – up against a wall. The bank was unwilling to work with us. Then it happened though not quickly. We were FORECLOSED on. I think we were more angry than heart-broken at that point and so we (though we) really didn’t care. As I write this I’m in tears. I’ve never put all of this down on paper and realized how much that wounded me.
My mother-in-law had recently purchased a home next to hers (an elderly couple needing to sale asap) and we were able to move our growing family into this VERY outdated and dirty home and begin renting while helping her update it. It wasn’t ours, but we weren’t homeless. What a blessing!
Fast-forward to today. We still live here. We rent. My dream of owning my own home is still just that, a dream. I am grateful that I have a place to live. Then there are days I grieve not having our own home. So much has happened since then. We still aren’t on our feet as much as I’d like to be, but I can see God’s hand in the past 8 years.
The blessings that have come from that pruning are many! I’ve been able to remain home (and homeschool!) my kids, the disaster prompted my husband to go back to school and obtain a Civil Engineering Degree (we had nothing to lose), I had a successful photography business from home at one point, and God gave us a suprise blessing in the midst of all of the uncertainty, our daughter.
I’m learning to submit my dreams to God. I still dream of owning our own home, a cute fixer upper on at least 2 acres. It consumes my thoughts a lot of the time. We’re still recovering from my husband being done with school and catching up with all of the financial set backs we suffered all those years.
We’re in this limbo of playing catch up and making our dreams come true by using our finances to create meaningful and joyful experiences with our children. We like to do things that aren’t free (anyone else?) and playing catch up isn’t cheap either! We are a hunting and homesteading family and during the tough times we sold ALL of our gear just to get by. So the past year we’ve been trying to re-aquire all the things that allow us to do the things we love and survive!
We recently started talking about (possibly) beginning to save for our own home again. I hope to someday soon share that journey with you all as well as more of my journey to finding joy in just our (not really ours but that’s ok) backyard!
Talk to you soon!